Adult Joke : Size Matters

A man is very ashamed of his penis because of the size. He has an extremely small penis and doesn't want his girlfriend to dump him when she sees the size.  (see the fact about penis size)

One night when he and his girlfriend are making out in a dark corner he decides he will show her. The man unzips his pants, whips out his small dick, and shoves it into her hand.
He sits there impatiently waiting to see her reaction.

His girlfriend says, "Thanks for offering, but I don't smoke." Source

Read story  ` I am dating with man with extreme small penis"

What is the smallest penis ever known ?

Does small penis effect sex position ?

See Video below

Adult Joke - Taking pictures

The leading couple of this joke consists of a husband and a wife. The wife has just taken a shower and comes out wrapped in a towel, still shy being newly wed.

"Well, I've seen you naked. You don't need that towel," says the husband.

"I just feel more comfortable this way," the wife responds.

"But I want to take a picture of you in a natural state," continues the husband.

The wife gets suspicious and asks what the husband would do with the photo. "I'll put in in my wallet and keep it close to my heart all the time," he responds, and gets his picture then heading for shower himself. He returns clean but also wrapped in a towel.

"Why are you wearing that towel now - I want a photo of you in return," demands the wife. The Husband does as he's told, the photo's taken and they check the result in their digital camera.

"What will you do with this photo of me, then?" asks the husband.

The wife takes a good look at her husband, then the photo, then husband again. "I'll have it enlarged," she finally responds.

Black Eyes

Black EyesA man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.

The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. 

When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.”

The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?”

“Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.”

In Parent’s Bedroom

Little albert wakes up several nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parent's room.

Finally, one morning he says to his mom, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you`re bouncing up and down on him."

His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh...well...ah...well, I`m bouncing on his stomach because he`s fat and that makes him thin again." The boy responds, "That won`t work!" His mom says, "Why not?" The boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave for work each day and blows him back up! . Funnyandjokes